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I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming [entries|friends|calendar]
Smile to hide my fears

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(please don't make me cry)

Smile4no2morrow has MOVED. [30 Apr 2005|03:37pm]

__s0_unstabl3_ is the new smile4no2morrow. I promise this one will be more active then this one. Haha.

I'll be the mod. I use to be b00b00kittyfcuk but I've changed names. What a joy. =)

Have any questions? Contact me.



__s0_unstabl3_ is a rating community. Not like smile4no2morrow.

(5 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

[30 Apr 2005|04:30pm]

Sometimes I don't think I really exist.
Am I here?
No... even if I am here... I'm not here.
I'm somewhere else.
In my mind...
And it's so much better in there than out here.
But the problem is you can't live like that.
THEY don't let you live like that.
Do you find that when you become a self harmer - if you ever become one that is - that you become this new breed of life... this thing that is not human but could pass as one if you tried? It's like when all you think about it dieing... and it puts you aside from normal people.
You stop.... living... and start... dreaming.
And then... you don't know when or where the dream stops.
And you lose yourself... you know?
And at first it's good... and sometimes it still is.
But as time goes on, and the world goes by... the dream gets deeper, and you lose yourself more and more to this... "life" you have created. And you don't know where to stop... or if you should.
You don't know how to get out... and you only think about getting out because THEY tell you you should.
Because it's wrong... it's not right, it's not "life".
And it's all fine and dandy to fuck that up.... but what are THEY going to do about it?
I don't understand... what is so wonderful about the world and that normal life you live that makes you think you are better than me? I'm not happy, fine... but that is not because of the world I created for myself, it's because I am stuck in your world, YOURS...
And I have become something else, and I will never lose that. And I will never be happy in your world.

In short.
I'm fucked.
And don't tell me otherwise... because you know you're fucked too.

Sorry... I was just thinking.
It's been a bad day... week... month... 18 years... and I see no sign of it letting up.

x posted around the block.

(please don't make me cry)

[23 Apr 2005|02:47am]

Does anyone know what art therapy is? What you do and all that?
I have never expereanced this kind and I would just like to know what I might be doing. I was told I would be asked to paint and then discuss the painting... but does anyone have any more than that? Has anyone been to it?

x posted.

(please don't make me cry)

[21 Apr 2005|09:44pm]

Just some pictures of people I've dressed up and had model for me...

Because I adore taking photos. =) Enjoy!
Just keep spinning!Collapse )

(please don't make me cry)

xposted [26 Mar 2005|01:47pm]

Due to unpaid rent, CBGB's in New York which housed classic acts such at Blondie and The Ramones is being threatened with closure.
Please sign the petition.

(please don't make me cry)

Don't die!!!! [03 Mar 2005|07:18pm]

LIVE DAMMIT!!!! *beats on you all*
OK... theme suggestion...
dress your impliment of destruction up real pretty and take a picture... be creative too man. I'm sure we all have names for them so feel free to show the reason why you named it that.
If you named it after you ex, dress it up like that fuckin moron.
If you named it after your parents, just make it look bitchy.
Hell, if you named it after fuckin Lizzy Borden, throw an axe by it and take a picture of that.

(please don't make me cry)

[07 Feb 2005|08:40am]

You scored as Sybil. Congradulations! You are a mental patient! I hope you are a happy little mental patient. You look cute in that straight jacket. No, really!






Bride of Valentine










Lizzie Borden








Deadbra Ann






Which Living Dead Doll would you be?
created with QuizFarm.com

Poop. My favorite is Hollywood....

(please don't make me cry)

[05 Feb 2005|01:39pm]

Name a thing that means the most to you and why?
Andrew, because he looks after me and cares.

Name one thing you wish never existed.
People. We ruinso much it's not even worth it.

Name one thing you did in your life that you wish you can go back and not do it.
Never standing up for myself. I should have built myself some spine while I had the chance.

Name one thing that you cannot live without.
Andrew. He is the only person I trust.

(4 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

[03 Feb 2005|08:28pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Theming it up.Collapse )

(6 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

It's been X-posted all over the place. [03 Feb 2005|06:00am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Today school was okay. I was feeling a little sad but that's what I get for liking two guys at once. Having a chance with both of them...and not knowing who to pick. I need your help. I'm going to list the good/bad reason about each guy then please give me some sort of advice. I'm naming 10 reasons.

+ is good
- is bad

-In the military
-He's 19
+Lives in my town
+Talk to him everyday
+Has chances to see him and speak to him
-Lives in RI during the week.
+He cares about me, and is helping me.
+I can talk to him easily
+Tells me when he's leaving and when he'll be back

Okay now onto the next.

-/+Lives in NC(when I move I'll have someone waiting for me)
+Cares about me
-Never online
-Never talk too
-Leaves for long times
-Can't see him
+can make me laugh
-Never know when he'll be on

Okay...think you guys can give me some advice?!!? PLEASE DO.

I'm your Mod, you better help me out!

Anyways we are sorta dead so I thought wow...just in time for a THEME!

The theme is...
Name one thing that means the most to you and why.(Pictures please!)
Name one thing you wish never existed(pictures please)
Name one thing you did in your life that you wish you can go back and not do it.
Name one thing that you cannot live without.(pictures please)

These should be done by Feb 14. =)

(1 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

New haaaaaair [01 Feb 2005|05:52pm]

I look sooo seksi you'll all wanna have my baby. Mhmm...Collapse )

(please don't make me cry)

Umm... [21 Jan 2005|07:56pm]

I know that Sam posted about her new community in here already... but this is the only other community that's nice that'll let stuff be posted for other communities!!

<33 Jizz

(5 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

blah blah blah...about time(just a little blurry though) [20 Jan 2005|01:38am]
well, heres a pic finally, hope no one goes blind from it.

(1 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

Harmless Self Promotion... lol. [17 Jan 2005|07:14pm]

I made my very first community, bitches... JOIN! lol.

(please don't make me cry)

[16 Jan 2005|01:34pm]

[ mood | sad ]

Well sorry I haven't been posting or anything. I've been studying and kinda grounded. Or just to depressed to post. Well last night was interesting. I kinda had a breakdown in the middle of a church while this guest speaker was talking. But what ever. I'll try to be around more. Sorry

(please don't make me cry)

[14 Jan 2005|12:12am]
blah really really bored, I'm gonna do some free associative writing...so tells me what ya think.

Read more...Collapse )

(5 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

Smile like no tomorrow, hiding my fears [09 Jan 2005|10:09pm]


So hard to look backCollapse )

(1 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

This is Raquel's Best Friend... [09 Jan 2005|09:13pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Mod AcArA is on a Hiatus until January 16th.

She is on a cruise in the Caribbean. =D. (I hope you're having fun Pip!)

New members will have to wait until then to be stamped/Added.

In the meantime, You guys still need to vote on a few people's Applications.

I also noticed that in the first 10 Auto-Accepted members a few didnt follow directions...

-1st 10 are auto accepted.
-Do not bitch, or bash other members.
-When rating, state why you said no/yes
-One week of voting..after that I decide if you are in.
-Posting APP and PICTURES and long entries under LJ CUT <*lj-cut*> TEXT HERE <*/lj-cut*> Just take out the *
-When putting your App up, for me to know that you read the rules, in subject line put "Smile like no tomorrow, hiding my fears"

Please make sure you follow the rules, AcArA doesn't want to reject anyone =(

Alright well because She has the final say in whether you are accepted or not, I am not going to stamp anyone, or add anyone's user name to the info page.

I am going to call her tomorrow to be sure of everything...

Later Gator`♥

(1 broke my heart | please don't make me cry)

Smile like no tomorrow, hiding my fears [08 Jan 2005|07:42pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

useless shitCollapse )

(please don't make me cry)

[07 Jan 2005|04:02pm]


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